The Ball Behind the Love of the Court
135. Deteriorated

In the vortex I looked at the tombstone and spoke to him. Only on tombstones and soil. Let people say anything, the important thing is that I'm talking to Ani. I hope he hears it even though it is different in nature.

"I promise I will play well and try to penetrate into the national team" This hand gently rubbed the tombstone that has been written Ani's name. My hand also gripped his grave with anger.

I'll find the person who made Ani like this. I will not let them live a quiet and happy life while Ani is no longer alive.

"This is the last time I'm with you. Now you're calm there, aren't you? I hope so, you're sitting like an angel in nature"

"Son, let's go home" Mother softly told me. He persuaded me to remain patient and sincere so that Ani was happy in nature there and did not get the burden.

"Give Key here in a minute ma'am" I hugged the mound again. Even because of them, Ani's fairy couldn't be opened until I couldn't see her face one last time.

"Come on, Ani Sudha, calm down. Don't let her grieve with your cry" I smiled at Ani, then left.

I went home with my mom and dad. Sometimes I look at Ani's headstone. I don't want to leave him alone. I just want him to come back laughing with me, crying in victory or defeat. And smile happiness when victory is celebrated.

"Mom, sir, rest. I'm fine and don't think I'm too deep huh" After that I go straight away and go inside the house. In a quiet room I sat with the window open.

Invite Bobo to talk to me. Regarding the matter about Ani, why should she be the one to go first. While he was still laughing at that time with me and now his laughter suddenly disappeared swallowed by the earth.

"Sorry Ani, I can't take care of you. Because of me you left so soon. Aaaaaa"

*bus, buk*a hard blow to the wall made my hand hurt again. Initially only bruised then became blood because too often vent anger on flat concrete.

An outpouring of anger comes with a deep sense of guilt. My heart is not calm, if yesterday I did not leave Ani maybe this time she will not leave forever.

"Aaaa, it's all your fault Key. It's your fault"

*buk, buk*, buk*

*pyarrr*

Blows and throws stuff I keep doing. But this heart is not yet calm. I can't run away from all this, if time can turn back then I will protect you Ani. I want to see his smile again at the training ground or in the match.

"Aaaa, why is everything happening to me. Aaaaaaa" Shouts fill up according to quiet room, even dim no lights.

In this room I was like a madman. A whisper seemed to tell me it was all my fault. I could not think clearly, just continuing to vent anger at the things inside.

A limp body cannot wrinkle anything. I slept on the floor with my back. Look at the ceiling of the room with a blank look. What thoughts are eating away at this brain is unclear. It seems so full of question marks.

"You're a big liar Ani, you didn't keep your word. I'll hit you soon" raved unclear. Alone in despair.

It is a lie to speak that I am well, and my dear friend has gone for ever.

I did not feel like I was sleeping in deep pain. This skin is fused with the cold of the floor and this heart is fused with the coldness of the situation.

\*tok, tok\*

"Key get up, Keyla get up. We're worried about you" Knock the door and the scream wakes me up in my sleep. It seems like it's getting late in the afternoon.

That shout I knew him, between the cries of mother, Nike, Ari and Yuri. But it felt like my life was boring, that spirit was broken. Broken by a reality that I clearly cannot accept.

"Key, wakeup. Keyla, you're okay, right?"

It was not just the screams on the door that were heard. Apparently there was someone who shouted beside the sound window like father and mother Yeni.

I want to be alone today, the memory of Ani has not been lost. I don't even think I can stand up anymore. I'm tired and very tired.

"This is Ari, if you continue to dissolve in your sadness then Ani will not calm down. He needs peace in there"

What else should I say and do. While my life was chaotic with Ani's departure, because my mistake caused Ani to die and only her name returned but her body was already buried deeply.

\*dretttt, drewtt\* (phone ring)

It's from there my phone rang on the bed. I don't give it up either because I need silence. I'm tired of all this, I'm a fool who can't keep his best friend alone.

"Don't eat, you haven't eaten. I've brought you a plate of rice and your favorite side dish" Mom's soft voice touched my heart. I don't want my mother's tears to fall in vain just because of my crazy circumstances.

\*\*

"Son"

"Key" They're running towards me who's in mourning right now.

"It's all Key's fault, Ani wouldn't have died if Key hadn't left him yesterday ma'am" I sat back down. It is as if the leg muscles are very weak.

"Key, I can't believe that you're this one. I know you from a long time ago, you are a strong and impossible child like this. I'm sure that Ani will smile when you smile through your day" Ari approached and tried to comfort my broken heart.

True said Ari, I can not be too late in the pain. But anyway, this is all because of my fault. I am guilty of not taking good care of Ani so she was kidnapped and returned without life.

"When I see you like this, I feel the same way, Key. My heart is also very sick, because Ani is also our best friend. Hiksss, hiksss" continued Yuri who was sitting beside me crying.

Ari and Yuri have known Ani since I entered the tarkam club. But their introduction is only limited to meeting and establishing as friends. And I lived it.

Almost every training or match, he will be a field friend who is always helpful and with me. His typical laughter and smile still lingered in this mind.

"Hmmmmffuuu" Breathed deeply and leaned against the wall.

My head is against the wall. Look around with a blank look without anger. I was confused about what I was thinking but there was nothing to think about. Just about ani and ani again.

My lips were shut back, unable to take out a single sack. I wanted to forget it but it felt so hard and I couldn't get this cheerful life back out.

"You two go home, I'm going to school tomorrow" Maybe that's a good decision from my mouth.

"really? Is it okay"

"Yes Key, are you okay" I nodded.

Yuri and Ari looked in disbelief at what I said. I say the right thing and I will live the right life.

"Mother, father, Nike and Ms. Yeni. You guys go home, I'm fine here. I just wanted to be alone" I held my mother's hand, wanting to convey something that I was in good shape.

"How are you okay, while your hands are hurting right now" Mother was the one who was most prepared to standby.

Mother immediately took the medicine city to treat this hand. The blood that was flowing had dried up. Denag her kelatenan mother cleans slowly.

"Mom will be here with you, son"

"No, mom's coming home"

Mom still wants to stay here with me but I don't want that. I don't want you to be bothered by my complicated life problems. I just want my mom and dad to be happy, that's all.

"But my mother will be... "

"No ma'am, I want you to take care of your health. Key promises won't do anything".

My eyes are trying to speak to my mother's eyes. I want you to know that I just want to be alone this time. I don't want them to be overwhelmed because of me.

"All right, mom's going. I'll bring you some rice back, son" Mom and family left this house. Here are only the rest of Ari and Yuri who are sitting with me on this floor.

The atmosphere is still in silence. No one dared to open their voices. I was still staring in a blank view. My mind is not normal as usual.

"Key, it's not all your fault. It's all fate and you have to accept it. You must continue your journey of life well. Didn't you promise Ani to fight to be a national team player, right? "

I was silent to Ari's words. Her words were so true, Ani didn't need my cry. But he needed my struggle to reach his goal.

It was indeed very different between Ani, Ari and Yuri. But the three of them are both my family and best friends. It is just different about the meaning in friends. But the three of them were very influential in my life.

"True you ri, I will rise from this sorrow. I also promise to take good care of you both" I hugged Ari and Yuri in a cry.

I'll take care of them both like I'm taking care of myself. I will also take care of my mother's family and not want them to be miserable for my life. I will make sure they always smile happily.

"You go home because it's night. I'm going to school tomorrow. Let enough of today be my sorrow, I don't want to be too late because I have to keep my promise to Ani and you"

"Well, we'll go home, you take good care of yourself"

"Yes key, you have to keep the spirit because there are still two of us who will always entertain you" continued yuri.

"Oh yes, your injured hand should not be exposed to water. Bandages must be changed and also given medicine so as not to infection" Ari cares about this wound.

He knows best about wounds and pays high attention. I could only nod, because the wound on the hand was less painful than the wound on the heart.

"Go home, I'm fine" I said.

They both went home leaving me alone again in silence. Only bright nights among the stars will always smile to welcome someone who will wake up from his illness.

A day full of wounds. The incision about the father is not over now added by the incision from Ani's sudden departure. I must try to be calm, patient and sincere in facing all.

"Wake up Key, don't slump in one spot. You must rise up" I murmured to myself.

I'm sure behind the tribulation there will definitely be rainbows in the future. And I have to promise myself you to be stronger and rise from disengagement. Let this day be finished right now, and let tomorrow go according to the flow of life.

High School A (morning 06.30)

"Hey hey hey, your little eye why? After fighting the same thugs and you cry yes"

"Hahaha, that's right. Looks like he's been defeated by the deck thugs"

With happiness Goddess and Adel mocked me who just missed at school. Their conversation was indeed weightless, so they both looked for something to be able to speak with obscurity.

"Gosh, it looks like my eyes are really swollen" I muttered inwardly and rushed off to the bathroom.

"Hey, we haven't finished talking just playing away" I stopped and turned back to the two of them.

"A.. Hm. I mean, why did you go first" she screamed so scared that she was talking stammering. But I don't care about that.

I went to the bathroom. Look at this reflection in front of the mirror. My face changed, there was no spirit in sight and my eyes were enormous due to the swelling etched by the endless cries.

"Why this? Looks like I have to clean it up" My hand turned on the faucet and threw water on the face to wash it off to make it look even more vibrant.

I just keep washing this face and cleaning it with the tissue. But the swelling in my eyes can't go away. I have to walk all day with a face like this.

"Look at Key, it looks like it's your old face" I spoke to myself in a mirror reflection. Stare at him with a sharp gaze and look at every part of the inch to see that as in the stabbing of a criminal.

I washed it repeatedly with soap, then returned it and then wiped it with a tissue. But the result is the same as no change.

"Let's know why this ruined my life. Crying all day like crazy" I said, sitting on a hand wash. I like sitting there because it feels funny.