We are Not Honey
Chapters 27. Endeavored

"Tell me what you want me to do, so you can believe that I'm in this place just for you." Said Riyan. To be honest, he was increasingly uncomfortable with Meisya who always had problems with anything between them.

"Whatever you're gonna do we're not gonna be the same. Whatever good you do today, it won't erase your taste for that girl." Meisya said with a tone of voice that began to rise.

Riyan rubbed his face violently. He knew this was all his fault, for that he chose to be patient with Meisya's attitude that always cornered him.

"Do you know the meaning of the word effort? I'm working on everything I do really just for you. I sacrificed everything, Mei, including both my parents. Do you know how tormented I am in remembering a promise I couldn't make to my late sister? I hurt the woman he loves at the end of his breath. I hurt a dead girl - she's dying with all the love she's got. And you think that's not enough? If you don't want my efforts, then what are we here for? If you don't want my presence anymore, why are we talking about a plan and starting over here." Lirih Riyan was long. Trying to make Meisya understand, if it completely erases the taste for Zahra, it is not a young thing for her. He wanted Meisya to understand and give him a chance to re-start this. "I did everything a husband should do for his wife. Even though I've been a failed husband to other women. Understand, May. Don't force any more than this" he charged while bowing deeply. Not knowing how else to explain, if he was trying his best for both of them. Just for Meisya.

"But I'm always with you! I've been with you for years, Riyan! I just want to have a wonderful life with you, and our kids later. However, look, I spent so much time standing with the man who so easily anchored his heart to another woman. Do you think I don't want anything else? Do you think I have no other hope for my life? What about someone better than you? I also want someone who can make me laugh and happy, just like you did when you were with that woman. It's not just you who have a wish, Riyan. But I threw away all my feelings, desires, needs and dreams. I planted the seeds and prayed to keep growing. I planted all the seeds of love I had in your heart, and waited for them to bloom. It took me years to realize that the heart I used to plant the seed was no longer entirely mine. Even so, I'm still trying to stay afloat. Grasping your hands tightly, because I love you so much. I pasirkan all and tried to clear all the disturbing doubts, because I hope, you can still be mine completely without the shadow of the woman. But the truth is, in your eyes there's only him." Meisya said at length while continuing to look at her husband's face with teary eyes.

It was not disrespectful to Riyan's struggle today, but which woman would not be sad if her husband's body was here, but her heart and mind were elsewhere.

Hearing the pitiful words from Meisya's lips, Riyan tried to reach for the increasingly thin body, but was patted hard by the owner.

"Let's start a new life there's just the two of us." Persuade Riyan.

"Until any time, there will never really be only us, Yan. But there is also him. No matter how hard I keep you here, it'll be useless if your heart is still on him." Tears that pooled in Meisya's eye patch, began to fall soaked her cheeks.

"May..." Riyan was still trying to grab Meisya's body, despite being repeatedly teed by the girl. Eventually, he managed to bring his wife's body into his arms. Repeatedly apologized for everything that had happened between them. Well, the relationship they've built, it's been years. And by evil, he destroyed the relationship. "I'm sorry." Lirih Riyan's.

"What should I do, May. I'm really confused what to do to really just be the two of us. My chest and brain seemed to break, because it remembered Mom as well." Said Riyan sadly. Not that he wanted to, but, it seemed that God was avenging all the foolishness that he had done almost three months ago.

It seems that God is teaching him a lesson, so that later he can think carefully first, before then making a decision.

"I'm so sad, Yan. You can't even cover your longing for her. And it hurts. You are here with me, but your mind and heart are elsewhere. I've seen this month, nothing has changed between us. You do all your work, but it's just a responsibility you have to do, not because you really do it with your heart and mind."Meisya tried to escape from Riyan's embrace, but the man tightened his embrace even more.

"Please help me escape this horrible life, May. I'm sick too. My heart aches for hurting two women I love at once. I'm sick to see me hurt like this. It hurts just as much as I think about how Zahra's life was there after my departure." Riyan starts to sob in Meisya's arms.

Hearing that sentence, Meisya no longer made a sound or tried to break away. Now, he realized that the three of them were equally injured. I don't know what he did in the past, so he has to take a test of this magnitude.

"I want to rest, Yan." Say it slowly.

Riyan let go of Meisya's body slowly, then looked at his wife's pale face with a puffy face. Gently wiping away the tears that soaked Meisya's cheeks, while apologizing for bringing this lover to such an agonizing state.

It should have been from the beginning that she had insisted on refusing to marry Meisya, even though it hurt her lover first. But all has already happened. Today he just needs to try his best, and hope that God will give the best way for him, for Meisya and Zahra.