You're Not a Figurant
[POV Alex] Ch 10 - Go to City J*****

I told Diana to pack my clothes, then sent a message to Winda to pick up my suitcase at Diana's house before going to the kosan Khansa. After all the business was done, I looked back at Khansa who still seemed to be eating very greedily.

My heart warms to see it. My feelings are so overwhelming. I love this woman so much. Not love anymore, but love. I think love is higher than love. I got to the stage, that I would still love Khansa, no matter what she would do to me. I will forgive and love him. That's how much I feel about him.

"Slowly eat it." Unknowingly my stupid hand had moved by itself. Swiping the leftovers that stick to Khansa's lips. As usual, Khansa brushed my hand away. A liverache? Sure oes. But it's okay. At the moment Khansa does not love me, gradually I will make her love me.

After I finished eating, I drove the car to Kosan Khansa. We both fell silent. Too busy with their own minds. Not long after, we arrived at that place. I stared at the building that Khansa had been hiding in for months. I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing Khansa chose a safe environment as her residence.

I walked beside Khansa, following closely the woman's small steps.

"Where are you going?" tanyakanya.

"Follow in." I answered lightly.

"Sorry sir, men are not allowed in." a security guard who stopped my steps. Khansa seemed to smile triumphantly and walked inside the kosan. It seemed like the woman was very satisfied from having managed to dodge me.

I stared at the security very sharply. I didn't like it because he was interrupting me. I could've hit that security, but I didn't want to provoke a commotion. I chose the path of peace.

"Let me in." I said as I opened my wallet.

"Sorry sir, men are forbidden to enter. This is a special cost for women."

"I'm the woman's husband. I'll pick him up." I approached security and pasted several tens of pieces of hundred thousand dollars. "Open the gate for me." I whispered with a tone of emphasis and threat. Security looked at me, then turned to stare at the money sheet in his hand. Two seconds later, he swiftly opened the gate for me.

"Please Mr." Security saluted me, like I'm the commander. Sometimes money is needed to smooth things out like this. But no matter how much money I have, it won't make Khansa mine. Khansa is one of those things I can't buy with money. It takes a sincere heart, sacrifice, and struggle to get it. And I'm getting ready to do it all.

***

I looked at the bathroom. For the size of the boarding room, this room is considered to have complete facilities. I spread my eyes around. My attention was fixed on the bed in the middle of the room. Imagining Khansa sleeping in that bed made me subconsciously step foot in there and lay down. There's a smell of Khansa in there. I inhaled that scent deeply. Suddenly the shadow of that night flashed inside my head. Makes me want it back.

Being in a room with Khansa like this is really tempting to my maleness. I want to grab that woman and fuck her. This longing in the chest was so great to be able to be expressed in words.

Khansa looks very uncomfortable being in a room with me. He looks agitated. Several times he tried to expel me, but I remained adamant about my stance. We started arguing about a few things. Especially the marriage. That woman really has no desire to marry me. Painfully rejected several times like this. But I can't back down. I still have to make Khansa my wife.

A few moments later, the Winda arrived. The presence of Winda was a great relief. I need to act fast. I will let Khansa be under the supervision of Vinda, while I myself will leave for the city of J*****.

***

I'm the most guilty party here. I've impregnated girls, and now I'm on my way to the girl's parents' house to make a big confession.

Facing professors, investors, or directors of large corporations has never made me this scared. But facing Khansa's parents really scared me. All my confidence evaporated instantly. I'm just a desperate man who's so eager to marry the woman he loves.

Bad thoughts running through my head. What if Khansa's parents reject me? What if they don't allow me to marry Khansa? What if they tell Khansa to throw away her child? Imagining things like that scared me.

It wasn't until an hour, the plane had landed at a small airport in my city. I'm getting restless. I went to the toilet and washed my face with water. I looked at my face in the mirror. I saw the uncertain face of a man. I took a deep breath. Trying to control my mind. Unexpectedly, proposing to girls people would make me this whole bunch. Suppose a few months ago I went to Khansa's house, would the result be different?

Almost thirty minutes I was in the toilet. Calms the restless heart and sucks yourself. After I thought I was ready, I got out of the toilet and stepped out of the airport area. I ordered a taxi and headed straight for Khansa's house.

I can definitely!! I can definitely!! I can definitely!

I convinced myself to calm my heart. The closer to Khansa's house, the more my heart thumped. My hands started to sweat. So is my forehead. I'm really very nervous.

The taxi stopped in front of Khansa's house. The house has undergone renovation. The bamboo wall at the back of the house that I saw a few years ago is no longer there, replaced by a solid wall. I know, it must be Khansa who made this house renovated. I'm really proud of Khansa. That woman could really change the economy of her family.

I stood in front of Khansa's house. Dreaming of things that used to be. Without me noticing a middle-aged man came out of that house.

"Who are you looking for?" said it. I flinched and focused my eyes. I saw Khansa's father standing at the door. Staring at me with a probing look, from top to bottom, then back to top again.

Khansa's father has not changed. There was only a little extra gray hair in her hair and a fine stroke on her face. I looked at that face with hesitation. Those probing eyes made me even more nervous and agitated. It was as if my mouth was speechless.

"Who are you looking for, son? Fian's friend? But Fian couldn't have..."

"I'm looking for you." I said in a hurry.

***

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