Missing In The Heart
Chapter 86.Loving and hurting you.

Mahavir who was still overwhelmed with emotion walked continuously into his penthouse and ended up in his study. He threw his body behind his desk. His hands held his head up with both elbows resting on the table. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly to evaporate the heat that burned his heart. I don't know why she was so offended by Rachel's words. Is this what you planned? His wife's words and questions continued to ring and even buzz in his ears.

Is that as low as his pride in the eyes of the woman?

His hands clenched tightly, until his knuckles looked white. Without a fists, his fists floated up just like punching his workbench. Nothing had changed from that sturdy workbench, precisely his reddened and injured handbooks. But the pain in his hand was ignored because it was not at all comparable to the pain in his heart.

His gaze then focused on a drawer lock on the table that was somehow suddenly up there. He grabbed the key and watched it for a few seconds. Direct the key to the right desk drawer and open it.

A bitter smile was seen from his face as soon as he found the box in the drawer was not in the position as before when he kept it. Mahavir lifted the box from inside and took out its contents.

Because you saw this you recognized me.....

He sighed while gently rubbing the pink handkerchief. Staring at that thing with a look full of pain.

Rachels.... I must how else face you....

Is there not a little room in your heart for me?

Quickly his finger pulled the base of his nose when he felt his tears would fall again. Mahavir again put the handkerchief into his storage and then stood up and came out of his study. With gontai steps, he walked towards his room hoping to speak from heart to heart with his wife. But the absence of Rachel there made him realize that he had left his wife in the car since it was so emotional.

In a hurry, Mahavir returned to the private park where he had left Rachel, but his wife was no longer there.

"Shit!!" Aspersion. His hands raised rubbed his face violently and then restored his hair to the same roughness. One hand grabbed the phone in his pocket and contacted someone. After being informed of Rachel's whereabouts, Mahavir got into the car and drove her quickly to the highway.

It didn't take long, Mahavir was already at the location where Rachel was. From a distance there were several men in neat black suits standing at various points, bowing in salute. One of them gave the code to Mahavir. Mahavir nodded then stepped his feet following the gaze of the bodyguard who had given him the information earlier.

He saw his wife from a distance walking limping with an empty view. Wanting it to feel Mahavir ran over and immediately grabbed him in his arms. But Mahavir tried to restrain himself and chose to follow him from a distance as he used to do. The woman continued to move her legs in an uncertain direction. Keep walking without seeming to complain with the heels he used. It was precisely Mahavir who seemed so worried about his condition, only he could not do anything.

The dried leaves are increasingly flying, the streets are already filled with dry leaves. Makes the clattering of footsteps sound unique when stepping on them. Mahavir spread his gaze around at a glance. Looks like some tree branches have been seen shaving, maybe a little more will change the season. Time passes so quickly. Mahavir smiled, a little chuckling. Laughing at himself. Both then and now nothing has changed. He was simply unable to reach the heart of the cold, haughty woman walking far ahead.

Rachel stopped her steps and sat on one of the park benches along the Queen's walk. Mahavir stopped his steps and sat on a park bench not far behind Rachel. Observing his wife's every move.

The sky had changed color, the sun was getting more and more hidden into his contest. Garden lights neatly lined up along the side of the Thames began to light up one by one. The air temperature has also decreased. One of the men in a neat suit approached and handed him two thick wool jackets. Mahavir put on one of them and got up to Rachel. Then Mahavir immediately wrapped the thick jacket onto Rachel's back.

"Let's go home, you can catch a cold later." Said slowly.

Without looking back, Rachel already knew that the owner of the voice was Mahavir.

"Where do you know I'm here?"

"That's not important."

"Surely of them, right?" Rachel smiled bitterly. He circulated his gaze at the well-dressed male figure standing in the distance. The person who had been following him all this time. At first he didn't realize it. But after everything was revealed he only realized that all this time he had been in Mahavir's cage. More precisely the prisoner of his love, who will never be able to escape anywhere. "Don't worry, I'm just here to calm down. I'm not gonna run away from you."

Mahavir was a little surprised. His hand raised lightly incised his temple. "Don't misunderstand me. They just want to take care of you. Not just you, but Bryan." To be honest.

Rachel did not respond, she already felt weak to argue.

"Come, it's night." Mahavir spoke softly and was about to embrace Rachel's shoulder, but his hand came to a halt in the air. He was afraid that he would re-ignite his wife's emotions that he might not want to touch. With a heavy heart, he turned around and put his foot out.

Rachel stood up slowly and followed Mahavir who had walked in front of her to the parking lot. He staggered slightly from feeling weak, probably because no one had entered his stomach since noon.

The two were both silent on the way until the car suddenly stopped on the shoulder of the road right in front of a restaurant. Rachel frowned but refused to ask.

"I haven't eaten all day. You too, right?" Qanya realized Rachel's facial expression and Rachel just nodded slowly in response.

With hesitation Mahavir approached and opened the seatbelt attached to Rachel's body. Rachel's breath felt on her face made her stop and look at his wife's face for a few seconds. Both eyes meet again. Mahavir's face drew closer and wanted to kiss Rachel's lips, but Rachel quickly turned her face and closed her eyes. Aware of the rejection, Mahavir immediately pulled his body back into place.

"Come..." He spoke briefly and got out of the car. Rachel follows. The two entered the restaurant and occupied one of the tables.

"What do you want to eat?" Mahavir asked continuously looking at Rachel.

"I'm not hungry...." His speech was weak, then turned his face to the side avoiding Mahavir's gaze.

Mahavir sighed, grabbed Rachel's hand on the table and held it. Luckily Rachel didn't run him down. Or it could be that he already has no energy to just brush off his grip.

"No matter how angry you are with me, please don't torture yourself. There's more of our son in your stomach. Eat a little." Pintanya.

Rachel closed her eyes, sighed softly then finally nodded.

Mahavir sighed in relief then grabbed the menu book. "What kind of food doesn't make you nauseous?" He asked as he glanced at Rachel from behind the menu book.

Rachel nodded slowly. "Stop that..." The answer was short and very slow, barely audible.

Mahavir pondered for a moment, then ordered a healthy menu for Rachel. Both of them enjoyed their dinner in silence. Sometimes Rachel has nausea, but it seems she can still cope.

Then they went back to the penthouse. Return the silence between them all the way to the destination. With the distance apart, the two walked into the penthouse to their room. Mahavir chose to sit on the edge of the bed while watching Rachel who changed clothes on the walk in closet. His jaw was seen up and down gulping his saliva painstakingly looking at his wife's sexy appearance, but he tried to temper his desires.

"Can I still sleep here?" He asked carefully as soon as Rachel took off the blanket and prepared to go up to the bed.

"This house is yours, everything here is yours. Why ask for my permission." He answered and laid his body on Mahavir's back and pulled the blanket to his chest.

"My soul is even yours now. You're free to do anything to me in this house." He continued to strive hard, even though he himself felt pain saying that.

Without speaking again, Mahavir went into the blanket and laid down his body. Her net focused on staring at the ceiling of their room.

Rachel closed her eyes, trying to fall asleep quickly. But again his tears fell by themselves without being able to stand it. She was biting her lower lip hard trying to hide her crying. But the soft stuffing sound penetrated Mahavir's hearing.

"What's wrong?" Ask with a trembling voice. "Do you want me tonight?" Rachel increasingly bit her lower lip, stemming her crying so as not to get more broken. "Do it when you want me. I'm not going to deny what I've been obligated to be as your wife..." He continued without turning to look at Mahavir in the slightest.

Mahavir shook his head even though he knew Rachel didn't see him. His tears also spilled over to hear Rachel's resignation. For a few seconds an inner role occurred in his heart. Slowly, Mahavir shifted his body closer and gently rubbed Rachel's back then ventured into hugging Rachel from behind. "I'm sorry, baby...." Lirih.

"You... You're evil." Said Rachel quietly while sobbing. "Why are you so mean to me, Dirman?"

"Sorry....."

"You don't know how hard it was for me to live my life after that. I was hysterical whenever a man approached me. The shadows of your face haunt me every night. I spent a year of my life in vain just to be able to forget you. Do a lot of therapy here and there. Although in the end I just knew it wasn't your fault and it was just my misunderstanding. But...." Rachel paused her words for a moment. tried to hold back her cries and strengthen her heart. "But I didn't expect you to be this close to me. Deceiving and marrying me like this....."

Mahavir was unable to say anything, as he also tried to hold back his cries. He just clenched his arms around Rachel's body, and inhaled deeply into her scent.

".... even....." Rachel paused her words back. Breathing out strongly because of the tightness that squeezes him. "Even the family cooperates to help you, regardless of how I feel when I find out..."

"No dear... Don't blame your family. It's all my fault. I'm in charge of everything that's going on." pulled Rachel's shoulder gently and made her turn to face him.

"I'm sorry...." Her ink as her hand moved rubbed the tears on Rachel's face. Then hugged her back tightly.

Rachel said nothing more. Unknowingly he returned Mahavir's embrace and continued to sob in Mahavir's arms until finally falling asleep. Mahavir stretched his arms. He stared at his wife's face for a long time. A face that he could not hate even if the behavior of the woman often hurt his heart. Mahavir slowly peed his forehead, both eyes, both cheeks and ended up on Rachel's lips.

Forgive me for loving and hurting you at once baby....

* * *

In the morning, Rachel woke up with a throbbing head. The nausea is very much back. He rushes up, runs to the bathroom and spits out all his stomach contents. His breath was breathless. The appearance of her from the mirror reflection in the bathroom was so chaotic. Both eyes were swollen with black hollows under the eyes and a flushed nose. Rachel immediately cleaned herself up and got ready to leave for her office. Returning to continue his activities as usual and trying to organize his heart and feelings also forget everything. But once again his emotions were provoked once he saw a new figure greeting him in the dining room.

"Who are you?" Ask a probing question to a Caucasian woman in her 40s dressed as a waiter. Not yet had the woman introduced herself, Rachel again asked the whereabouts of Mahavir.

BRAKKKIS...

Rachel pushed open the door of Mahavir's study roughly. Mahavir who was calling someone immediately turned off his phone connection.

"Why is there a new waiter? Where's Bik Inah?" It's with emotion.

"Dear calm down."

"Did you fire him for not reporting anything to you?"

Mahavir rubbed his face rough then pressed his temple. "I didn't do it..."

"Aren't you? Then me? That so?"

"Mom... Not honey..." He walked over to Rachel and hugged her.

"Don't touch me....!" His words made Mahavir pull his hand back.

"I just found out, too. Stuart has replaced it. He arranged everything. I have no authority against it."

"And you think I believe?"

"Stuart is not what you think. He's the President's right-hand man, my father. He's a strict and indiscriminate man. It is only to us that he is lenient and willing to be governed of all sorts. He will not tolerate a single fault of the workers who do not follow his instructions."

"Is it not enough with CCTV all over the house? Is it until the servants have to report all my moves? Even out there there are people who are constantly watching my movements..." His eyeballs again felt hot, even something had re-stained in his eye peluruk.

"Vir....Am I really you in love? Or is it just your doll that you have to monitor and move as you see fit?" He asked so weakly and slowly, the clear grains had started to fall in the corner of his eyes. He returned sobbing.

"Honey..... "

"I'm beginning to forgive and accept you. But I think I should think about it." Say it again while stepping his legs backward.

"Honey.... Listen to my explanation...." Her ink, pulled and held both of Rachel's arms forcefully and a little hard.

"LAUWW...." Shouted Rachel felt Mahavir's grip getting stronger on her arm.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to..." Mahavir let go of his grip. "Listen to my explanation..."

"I don't want to hear anything anymore. From this moment on I will truly be your puppet!" His anger then turned around and ran out of the penthouse with his sobs.

"SHIT!!!" Mahavir swearing loudly. He doesn't know about this at all. She was also as surprised as Rachel when she found the waiter. He asks Stuart about it when Rachel suddenly walks into his study and misunderstands him.

Mahavir grabbed his phone back and contacted Stuart. All the swearing and mockery he threw, venting all his anger on the Scottish man.

Stuart was silent on the other side hearing every mockery from his young master. He also did not know that this time he had also missteps. His whole life, only this time he felt frustrated facing problems. Facing his Young master's wife really made him always overwhelmed.

"Just return the servant to this house. This afternoon I want him here." Mahavir's orders before finally closing the phone unilaterally.

* * *

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