Luccane
Chapter 59: Getting used to Themselves

The days I had to go through to the new semester were still long.

I still have to enjoy the holiday that is still two months away that inevitably, put aside my desire to be made busy again with all kinds of lecture activities on campus.

"You sure you're just gonna take this, Neng Visha?" asked Mang Ujang once again, reviewing my very little luggage - just a medium-sized sling bag, even the contents are only a wallet and some important items.

I nodded confidently. "yes, Mang. Let's just leave later and arrive at the airport late."

Yep. Today I decided to return to Palembang to clear my mind for a moment, while trying to get used to it after my inner eye had closed completely.

Now that I feel completely empty, I feel like I lost half of my identity considering I have been familiar with the appearance of astral beings since I was a child.

And again what I have been going through lately is really not able to be digested raw with common sense.

After Mang Ujang agreed with my words, I then approached the house intending to say goodbye to Bibi and Andri who had been watching us from the porch.

"Auntie, Visha go home first. Later Visha will often call again," I said while salim to Aunt.

"She be careful, baby. Neng had to rest a lot do not think strange anymore," remembered Aunt while hugging me a glance.

"Ready, Auntie."

Andri who was standing next to Bibi just smiled, thrusting a plastic bag with a special logo mini market to me later.

"Pregnancy, you have to eat a lot of yes," said Andri accompanied by a wide smile.

I immediately burst into his arms, feeling very grateful for all the things Andri has done for me.

I don't know what I'd be like without the help of Andri and his family.

"Thank you very much, Andri," I said softly, trying to hide my tears that had escaped without permission.

Unexpectedly, the family that I initially avoided became the safest and most comfortable last refuge for me.

"Yes, yeah. Yes you do not have to cry hunting later even miss the plane," replied Andri while wiping my tears using a light blue handkerchief from inside his shirt pocket.

I nodded confidently, trying to stay strong to face everything with the best smile I could display.

"I'll be back soon and finish my education as well as possible" I said as I got into Mang Ujang's car.

The dawn sky that was still not decorated with sunlight still looked gloomy, as grim as I felt. Not only grim, I feel my heart is now deeply broken, broken by the harsh reality I cannot escape.

The car driven by Mang Ujang drove at a moderate speed, splitting the deserted road increasingly making my mind raging.

As if understanding what I was feeling, Mang Ujang never wanted to open the conversation about what I and Andri found at that time.

"Everything that happens to us has become a provision of God, Neng Visha. Even if it's so heavy and painful we have no other choice but to accept it with the air."

Suddenly Mang Ujang who had been silent since then said that, enough to make me jerk a little surprised unexpectedly would hear those words from Mang Ujang.

"Yes, Mang. Visha tried to sincerely accept everything even though it felt heavy," I said slowly, looking at the road presented from the windshield of the car.

"But one thing is certain, everything that has happened makes Visha so learn a lot. Especially about the sincerity of love and the high value of honesty."

A blue sky decorated with gray clouds welcomed my return in my homeland this time.

Mama and Papa greeted me at the airport door, making me smile.

Thank you, Lord.

I am grateful to be able to meet them again, the people I love so much.

Mama's smile looks wide, a little different from Papa who is still loyal to put on his distinctive calm look.

"Mama, Papa!" I cried out happily, welcoming the arms of Mama and Papa.

The three of us hugged, trying to release the rest of the longing that had been held in the depths of the heart.

Just this time I feel that the presence of Mama and Papa is a gift that I have never been grateful for.

"My son is finally home too. Mama has been missing and worried about knowing you" said Mama while kissing both of my cheeks affectionately.

Mama, as usual, is still so easy to cry because of her sensitive feelings.

While Papa said nothing, he was just busy holding my hand so tightly as if he would not let go of me.

"I went home a long time ago, Ma, Pa. Vacation is still two months away so Mama and Papa can be satisfied to spend a lot of time with me," I said while gently rubbing Mama's back that was still as much as you pleased.

"Just go to college here, son?" pinta Papa suddenly, with a pleading look made my heart slip.

I can't imagine how worried Mama and Papa have been over all the things I've been through on the land.

But my determination is round and can not be contested anymore, I will continue my education in Bandung until the end even though I know it is not an easy thing.

"Papa, I can not step back anymore.my decision is already unanimous I will continue to study in Bandung until it is finished. I promise I won't do anything else 'there will be Aunty, Mang Ujang and Andri who always take care of me, '" I said gently trying to persuade Papa.

"Yes, Pa. Pity Visha if you have to repeat again and learn in a place that she does not like," added Mama tried to defend me.

Papa still has not let go of his hand, trying to convince me that the decision I took was not the right and rational step after what had happened.

"We might be able to lose you, Vishabea Lazuardi," added Papa with eyes that rolled with a clear sense of worry and anxiety.

All my life, only this time I saw Papa so worried about me. He had always only shown the cold and firm side as a father made me feel very disinclined to him.

"I promise it won't happen, Papa," I replied as I placed Papa's hand on my cheek.

Since childhood I did like to do that after Papa scolded me, usually after that Papa's anger will quickly subside.

"I went to Bandung to achieve my goals, so I will only go home after I succeed. Papa and Mama don't have to think about unimportant things just be sure that I will be a child that you can be proud of" I said optimistically even with a trembling voice holding back tears.

Luccane, this really feels really heavy and painful.

Do you feel the same?